How come I am having trouble believing in God even though I want to?

This question is for those who KNOW God. Please no condescending answers from either side. I have my reasons! I want to believe so much in God but the perception in my mind is not changing that this is all there is. It should be simple faith like a child to just accept. It's not that I have doubts or questions. I do, but that is normal. That is not what is blocking my faith. It is just the overwhelming feeling of separation from God. How do I restore it? I have been praying, reading, thinking, I've made myself available to receive the knowledge and peace of the Creator but I still have this stubbornness that keeps me from handing myself completely over.